Thursday, August 16, 2012
July treatment done.............
Every one is in bed for a little while and yes I need the rest, but if you know someone who has chemo they don't sleep. Up and down all night long. I have been dragging my feet to write about this months treatment. This July Hunter had a treatment on the 3rd and four weeks later on the 31st. This time it broke me, broke into pieces that I am still having a hard time trying to put back together. It is very hard to put my poker face on lately. As I carried Hunter out of same day surgery he was crying and I was crying hysterically down the hall to Rick. I was shouting to him," I am done.... I am so DONE.... I can not do this any more." As I looked at Rick and our oldest son Triston walking toward them with this look of shock on their faces. They were both frozen staring at me. The day Hunter was diagnosed with Leukemia nurses have been holding him down for peg shots (this is chemo shots in both legs at the same time) or to get him accessed. Hunter was two years and four months old when we were told he had cancer. I have kept everything the same routine each time we have went to Primary Children's. Hunter only knows the routine just now almost five he has been able to say,"I don't want to be accessed." or " I don't want chemo." Routine is all he knows. I had a nurse ask me once," does he know what you are talking about?" I told her, "no but he knows what is going to happen to him because I am telling him and at that moment he will know. To have Hunter accessed I have trained him to keep his hands above his head keep his leg straight. Squeeze mommies hands and as I whisper in his ears It's OK I am right here. Your mommies is right here. Hold still keep your leg straight. They are almost done. I will repeat this to him over and over again. So Hunter will not have to be held down by three or four people. The reason we are at same day surgery is they did not have Hunter scheduled for R.T.U. this trip was two doses of chemo one through his port and the other through his spine. I had his appointment all made but some how it was not scheduled. We went to clinic and got his Vanchristien through his port. Things were fine we made our way down to same day surgery. Talked to the nurse told her that he will not keep his wrist band on and she said, "we can make a sticker to put on him." I told her OK put he is allergic to any adhesive on his skin. After Hunter is access they have to use a wound bandage to cover his port. I told her she could put it on his band aid over his port. she said,"OK" and made some notes on his chart. Then the anesthesiologist came in Hunter has had him before at R.T.U. This was familiar to Hunter so we started on our way. Very nice man Hunter really liked him. They wheeled a bed right out the side of the doors. Before they wheeled Hunter back they were going to put him to sleep in the hall way with me holding him. The anesthesiologist lifted Hunter into the bed and went to give him the medicine to put him to sleep. When this happens right before Hunter is put to sleep he will grab hold of me so very tight until he is limp and as I lay him in the bed I will whisper in his ear," Mommy is right here Baby, I'll be right here." But this time as they were giving his medicine Hunter started screaming. When the anesthesiologist lifted Hunter in bed he had De accessed him. When they gave Hunter his medicine instead of going in his port it went just below the skin surface. I have been told this is very painful and this is not the first time this has happen. Hunter is screaming out in the hall way and everyone is coming out of the wood work to see what is going on. Now another anesthesiologist has come out to help get Hunter accessed and he is so swollen and they can not get him accessed. They poked and prodded on him for about 10 minutes I was getting very angry at this point and time and told them to call up to clinic for someone to come down to get Hunter accessed. They took us out of the hall way and put us in a room. I got Hunter calmed down just in time for the nurse to come in and access him. While Hunter is getting accessed I found out that Hunter is getting his spinal done by a practitioner. The same gal that came in our room at the clinic and did not sanitise her hands ( I did not let her touch Hunter at clinic) Now she is going to do his spinal. I have reached the boiling point. I made it CRYSTAL clear to Dr.Lemons I do not want anyone practicing on Hunter. I do understand they all have to practices but not on our son. Our first two weeks to Primary Children we all most lost Hunter twice do to medical mistakes by practitioners practicing. I also made it clear to the fill in Doctor at clinic about not having a practitioner for his spinal. Obviously my voice was not heard. They do listen to me but do what they want. As they are wheeling him back and I am telling them to not put him back by any one who is sick because I know a lot of kids have died from germs. Now waiting for Hunter to get done as I go back and he is screaming for me as I try to calm him down Hunter and he is screaming "you leave me, you leave me !!" As I am trying to comfort him I notice he is still accessed asked why? As they started to take his band aid off I noticed that as soon as they took Hunter back they took off his band aid covering his port and Terrie strip it down about six times. I all so noticed they put the sticker right above his port the same sticker I told them he is allergic to. As the Anesthesiologist is taking the Terrie strips off he DE accessed Hunter and then he remember he forgot to but in the heparin in. So now Hunter has to be accessed again. So they called the same girl down from clinic to re access him she brings another nurse with her. By this time Hunter is very swollen and three other nurses come in ready to jump on Hunter to hold him down. My tone is not the best by now so I am tell them all to back off and let me talk to Hunter. While they are poking on I am telling Hunter it's OK and they keep trying to access him but they can not. The other nurse steps in to try I asked her why, you have never access Hunter before? She told me she has and the first nurse said,"I don't want to poke him again." I told her NO. you have not she proceeded to argue with me I told her unless you work at Dixie Regional then you have never access him. She looks at me and said,"That right he is access in St.George." They used a 22 gage needle and now Hunter is to swollen they have to get a bigger needle. Finely after poking and prodding again for another 10 minutes Hunter is accessed by the first nurse. They give him his heparin and DE access him Hunter is crying uncontrollably by now. Then I tell them all in a not so nice tone I am not trying to be a Witch but you have tortured my son and I let you do this and it will never happen again. I picked Hunter up in my arms left. This show's you how very week I am. At first when Hunter was diagnosed I prayed that our father in heaven would take him so he would not have to suffer. Now his strength and courage keeps Hunter still fighting strong. I do know that wounds heel in time and time is all we have for now. I do believe things happen for a reason. Rick and I both believe that Hunter is here for a cure. We believe in miracle's........do you?
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Love,The Laubs
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Love,The Laubs